AIM Away Messages

"I've run away from college!!!! MAHAAAHAAAHAAA!!!"

"computer-$899
internet provider-$27 a month
messenger service-free
an away message from me-pricless
"

"Everyone has the right to be stupid but your strongly abusing the privilage!!"

""Are we so much better then chickens all of the sudden? When did this happen that we passed chickens in goodness? Name six ways we're better then chickens. See nobody can do it! You know why? Because chickens are decent people!"... Think about that while I'm away. "

"yeah, i decided that AIM is like multiplayer notepad.... i just beat like 16 people, and on that note, im tired and must go to bed. but you can play "story mode" with my away message.... its still gonna win though, kinda like those aztec football playing guys.... yup, I WIN!!!! HAHAHAHAH"

"We're sorry, your request can not be proccessed at this time, please try again after the rabbit has left my shorts."

"I'm really bored so I'm off to do something completely arbitrary and creative like rainbow sponge painting Wal-Mart, moving all of my furniture out of my dorm room and putting it back in the exact place it was before just to see how long it would take, or eating enough bologna to feed the entire nation of Angola 13.285 times...leave me some suggestions for other novel time-filling activities. "

"Your IM is important to us. All of our Representatives are currently busy, but if you will please hold one of our representatives will be available to assist you shortly. Thank you. "

"i can't find my computer maybe if i found my house i be near there :P bbl"

"I'm probabaly not doing anything speacial but just screening ur instant message. b/c it gives me the feeling of power. someday, I will the world ... one message @ a time. [diabalical laugh, diabalical laugh]"

"My dog ate my away message."

"when you are not looking at it, this away message is in spanish."

"College would be so much better if there were no classes; they should just put you in a dorm with your peers and have student organizations and frats and stuff, and in four years or so, they hand you a degree just for surviving. That would rock."

"You want to know something pathetic yet funny, You actually taking the time to read my extremely boring message. (thats the pathetic part).the funny part is that I'm sitting in front of the computer screen ...laughing."

"The song goes: "We all live in a yellow submarine." What I want to know is, who is "we all"? Do they mean everyone in the world or only their select group of friends? Either way, it'd have to be a pretty big submarine and I don't think I'd want to live there. I'm off contemplating this and other mysteries of the universe. Be back soon."

"Congratulations are in order:      I've destroyed the vile Red Falcon, and saved the universe! You may now consider me a hero."

"My dog ate my away message."

"i, i am _________'s away message. How are you doing today. As you can see ___________ is not here right now but you can talk to me, i promise ill say something everytime you im me."

"This is not an away message... I am just an incredibly fast typer. That was just 32 words in a second, so imagine my wpm. Its gotta be around 1,800. I'm amazing."

"If ignorance is bliss, you should be the happiest person on Earth."

" my electric toothbrush hieronymous has a superiority complex because he thinks that he is so much better than me and we often get into arguments over which one of us is cooler and he always wins and it is very disappointing when your toothbrush beats you in a debate but that's ok because next time i'm going to be ready for him and i'm going to say "yeah your name might be hieronymous and that's really cool and stuff but i can do this" and then i'm going to brush my teeth with him because everyone knows that brushing your teeth with your enemy is the highest insult around because you can't be very cool if somebody's using you to clean their teeth but then hieronymous said "hey i don't have to take that from a dork like you" and then picked me up and decided that i would be a good substitute for dental floss which was very degrading.my electric toothbrush hieronymous has a superiority complex because he thinks that he is so much better than me and we often get into arguments over which one of us is cooler and he always wins and it is very disappointing when your toothbrush beats you in a debate but that's ok because next time i'm going to be ready for him and i'm going to say "yeah your name might be hieronymous and that's really cool and stuff but i can do this" and then i'm going to brush my teeth with him because everyone knows that brushing your teeth with your enemy is the highest insult around because you can't be very cool if somebody's using you to clean their teeth but then hieronymous said "hey i don't have to take that from a dork like you" and then picked me up and decided that i would be a good substitute for dental floss which was very degrading."

"No man is an Iland, intire of it selfe; every man is a peece of the Continent, a part of the maine; if a Clod bee washed away by the Sea, Europe is the lesse, as well as if a Promontorie were, as well as if a Mannor of they friends or of thine owne were; any mans death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankinde; And therefore never send to know for whome the bell tolls; It tolls for thee. -John Donne (the spelling mistakes are his, not mine)"

"Practice safe sex and being nice to strangers.
Be particularly careful when combining the two."

"Dork Anthem:

Guess what I am? A dork. A geek. A nerd. That's right. And you know why? Because I have an IQ that's higher than my weight, I'm a Computer Science major, I go to a college that ends in "Institute of Technology", I play Magic: the Gathering and Dungeons and Dragons, I'm good at math, I wear glasses (sometimes), I'm short and skinny and weak, I listen to "pussy rock", I own an optical mouse, I installed more RAM in my computer by myself, and I have more than 5 email addresses. I am a dork."

"we were all brought up to believe that we'd grow up to be movie-gods and rock stars. but we're not. and we're pissed."

"so there was this guy and he was walking along one day and it was a really nice day and there was sun and stuff and he was walking and things were fun and he was happy and he was walking and whistling a tune and things were good and it was sunny and he was walking and he saw a ball point pen on the ground and thought 'well that's just my luck because i am in need of a ball point pen' and he was about to pick up the ball point pen on a sunny day and then the ball point pen ate him."

"ok, believe it or not, i am sitting right in front of my computer at this very moment. I just saw your little IM message pop up. I could talk to you if i really wanted to, but I'm not going to! I might be eating icecream and i don't feel like making my keyboard all sticky. I might actually be constructive and could be doing some work now. Or better yet, maybe i just don't feel like talking to you right now. you can pick which one you like best. if i think you're worthy of my attention i'll talk to you in a moment. (wow, writing that felt really good; sorry to take my aggression out on you, by the way. if i were you i'd be pretty offended. in fact, i'd go down to the local powertool shop and find some really scary-looking thing and come after me with it. of course, you're probably much more civlized than I am--at least i hope so"

"Today we salute you, Mr. Garden Gnome Maker.
Anyone can dress up a yard with a shrub, or some some gladdy olens, but it takes real guts to use a small brightly colored ceramic man. And what says welcome to our home like a dwarf in the hedges. Many a night you slaved over a hot ceramic man maker, knowing somewhere, there was a lonely pink flamingo or a cement frog that needed a buddy. so crack open an ice cold bud light oh master of miniatures, cause all americans know a home isn't a home, without a gnome!!!"

"1969 : The first american man steps onto the moon 69 : Man meets woman. . .Let's talk about sex baby. . . LOL sorry, still not fully mature yet"

"The hunt is back on!!!! The mischevous varmit was spotted streaking across the kitchen/dining room/living room floor to its home in the wall. Sticky traps seem to be the perfect solution for this trickiest of creatures. Soon we will fatten ourselves with the roasted flesh of wild mouse. Rejoice in my victory over the animal kingdom. Tomorrow..we will capture the venemous Wombat :)"

"Perfect breasts
(o)(o)
Fake silicone breasts
( + )( + )
Perky breasts
(*)(*)
Big nipple breasts
(@)(@)
A cups
o o
D cups
{ O }{ O }
Wonder bra breasts
(oYo)
Cold breasts
( ^ )( ^ )
Lopsided breasts
(o)(O)
Pierced Breasts
(Q)(O)
Hanging Tassels Breasts
(p)(p)
Grandma's Breasts
\ o /\ o /
Against The Shower Door Breasts
( )( )
Android Breasts
| o | | o |
Martha Stewart's Breasts
($)($)
"

"Before criticizing someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. that way when you do criticize them, you have their shoes and you are a mile away. "

"If you tickle a cow, will milk come out of its nose? i could no longer withstand my curiosity and went to find a cow to tickle."

"I'm right 90% of the time...so why worry about the other 5%?"

"I'm Out time traveling right now and I'll be back yesterday."

"Sorry I'm not here right now, I'm lost in thought and seeing as it's unfamiliar territory I might be gone for a while."

"Sorry, I'm away from my computer right now. I lost my bathing suit while surfing the web. I'll be back when I find some clothes to put on."

"Life is too short to just sit around on the computer all day, so what are you doing on the computer?"

"I'm not here right now, feel free to talk to the computer as long as you want!"

"Please leave a message and make me feel even more important then I already am..."

"I'm not here right now, so you have two choices. You can: A.) Leave a message B.) Don't leave a message You make the decision. It's in your hands."

"I was here when you were not now your here and I am not."