AIM Away Messages

"Dont you hate it when people don't ever tell you where their going? I mean it's stupid no one ever tells you where they're going....it's annoying. I mean you don't know if they're in the bathroom doing h/w or anything.....it's very very rude...brb"

"hey, %n, i am doin that thing, you know, that one thing, no not that one, the other one, no, not that one either, you know the thing with those things, yeah, thats what i am doin, geez, does a guy have to spell it out...talk to you when i am done doing that thing "

"me not here, me go bye, leave me message, me reply"

"im gone, which means im not here, because im there, and if im there then im not here, because if i was here then i wouldnt be there anymore, so if you want me to not be there anymore and come here some more then call me and ill come here and then i wont be there anymore, or will i?"

"if only my life would cease to be so incrediblely exciting, i might have some time to talk to you."

"away messages, one of the many challenges in life. But what do you put in an away message? SO many people are reading it! This has been a conflict in my life ever since I realize that you can TALK to people ONLINE. You could put something simple like "GO AWAY, I DONT WANT TO TALK", okay it's an option, but that is extremly rude. You could go with the DIRTY approach "if you were my homework, i would be doing you rigth now" AHEM NO COMMENT....or something general, "IM AWAY", sure you could say that but are you REALLY away? Who knows. In Conclusion, you never know who is going to read your message, so choose your words wisely!"

"i'll leave out the unimportant words like out and with so i am: hanging *insert person's name who you are with here*"

"Im like a bird without wings, so i guess that just makes me away"

"1 pair of handcuffs $5, 1 roll of duck tape $4, the look on his face when he discovers what I'm going to do with this stuff.
Priceless."

"I am a trendy away message.
Please enjoy trendy away message."

"I am away doing nothing. They didnt have an away message for that. If you would like to save me, leave a message or call me at [insert number here]"

"See that little yellow notepad by my name? It means I'm not here. You learn something new every day! :-p"

"Did you really think i was goin to answer your pathetic IM?  NO! Im on a secret mission to conquor the earth and now that you know, I'm on my way to your house to kill you.  Feel free to leave a message if you live long enough to type one :-) "

"Don't you understand the damn sticky notes next to my name!?!?"

"I'm not really away, i just don't want 2 talk 2 u."

"After a very long day of doing *insert some stuff that I did today* I have gone to sleep ... I will wake up at around *insert time here* and *insert "will", "maybe", or "won't" here* get back to you when I wake up. *Insert "Have a good" or "Have an awful" here* night. *insert :-) or :-P or >:o here*"

"I'm away for the same reason a dog licks his balls...because he can"

"I'm out like a condom machine at a frat party"

"$hopping w/ my pals, Visa, Mastercard, and American Express BBL"

"I'm away... hence the "Away Message". "

"Asking where I am or when I will be back would imply that time and space exist, a point I am not willing to concede. "

"if boredom were a crime, this wouldn?t be my first offense"

"I don't want to talk to you... Sorry. the truth hurts."

"HoHoHo, im not here, im eating milk and cookies . . .heehee i feel like santa claus"

"go cry in the corner of a circular room dude"

"

@  @                 @  @
 \  /     *Away*      \  /

"

"im off having a life and not bein in front of my computer all day... its a very rare situation, so please dont hold it against me!:-["

"I'll be back when I can get my head from between the rail in my stair case."

"im out like a mute kid in bingo"

"Either I'm not here or I see someone on my Buddy List that I don't want to talk to... If I'm not here, you should leave a message. But consider the possibility that you're that person that I'm trying to avoid. In that case I would hope that you don't leave a message, because even if you do I will probably ignore it. If you aren't sure which category you fall in to, your best bet is to leave a message, because then you will know which type of person you are, depending on whether or not I respond. Good Luck. "

"went crazy...be back later, maybe"

"A·way (a-wae) adj. Absent; Distant, as in space or time. ... I am: Away. Not available... doing something else.... not at the computer... unable to assist you... ignorant of your attempts to contact me... just simply Not Here! (duh!) :-P "

"I am not here at the moment. However, if you would like to be transfered to another correspondent, please press the number that best fits your personality: ---If you are obsessive compulsive, please press "1" twenty-three times, delete the 3rd, 6th, and 18th one, and wash your hands. ---If you are codependant, please remove your head from the ass of the person next to you and ask them to press "2". ---If you have multiple personalitites, negotiate with the others over whether to press 3, 4, or 5 ---If you are paranoid delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just keep the IM open so we can trace your line. ---If you are manic depressive, press anything, no one will answer anyway"

"I fell out of my chair, this may take a while..."

"I am out like a handicapped parking space at the handicapped olympics!"

"Let's discuss right and left..................................................................................you're right, I left!"

"Sorry, but I am away right now. Don't get mad at me! Just think of all the times you had your stupid away message on and I wanted to talk. This is your punishment!"

"is this away message annoying yet?"

"I like to think of an away message as a message when I'm away. It's a strange philosophy, but it seems to get my point across. I'm not here."

":-) :-| :-( :-* :-X :-> :-S :-\ ;-D :-0
moods change...be back when i decide 1 !"

"Sorry, but I am away right now. Don't get mad at me! Just think of all the times you had your stupid away message on and I wanted to talk. This is your punishment!"

"I just farted so I went off to the kitchen until the stench fades away...."

"Hmm. That's a tough one. About 48 in LA and maybe 17 Mexico. What's that? Oh! Where am I? I thought you said "How many people have you shot in the face?" Hahaha, well in that case, I'm [INSERT WHAT YOU'RE DOING HERE]. Hahaha! Ohhh, who's the silly goose? It's me."

"im busy putting elephant nipples in-between my toes"

"Individuals who lack a certain sense of savoir-faire pique me profoundly -- ergo, vamoose. When you finish looking that up in the dictionary, IM me again, I'll probably be back by then."